i dOn'T lOvE yOU~

hi..it's been a while since the last time i posted my blogie.~~
emm..life is bz....like always...i still on my job.it's boring..but at the same time it's fun. heh~~it shows huh,..?~~how pathetic i am..
i can see it clearly now. what on earth r u thinking iza~~
i just can't accept and can't lose it at the same time.
i must be crazy. what an attitude......~~
ok..based on the title, im crazy to play 'i don't love you' song using the guitar, i mean..perfectly!
i want to do it right..juz like mia rose did..
she sings and playing guitar soooooo wellllll~~~~~~~~~
what a talent huh~~
she's pretty, and talented, yeah, juz like marie digby..
awwww..if i could play that good..
of coz i can!
i practised everynite.
it will be done.
heh..i will~~=]
xoxo

aja aja fiGhting!

hoh..im on my job today.
it's not so hard..i guess.
ok laa..hehe, slaumber jek ak wt tmpat keje ni cm bapak ak yg pnye..
men komp dpn bos lagik.hehe.
bos ak baek..xpeeeeeee..
at first, i felt like this job...~~
haisyh!!
boring gler..
yeah, my partner off today. so im alone with my boss.
i just thought that i wanna quit.
but than i think, i have friends..so..it might suckx a little less..
dak medik lgik..
klinik dpn tmpat keje ak jewk..
hoho..so..
aja aja fighting!!
mst bley!
i know i can!!~
better i stop now or i'll get fired.
hehe
xoxo

heh~tomorrOW!~

i'll start my job tomorrow!~
what a relief..to know that at least i have something to do..
it sux just staying at home and did nothing..
asyik on9, kuar pick up my bro and sis..
on9 lgik..
but it's no sooo bad pown.
just xde income jela..
haha,......................
so..that's all kot.
i don't want to be late for my first day.
papai~~
xoxo=]

oLd fRiENd~he's ChaNgE!

hey..i met my old friend today..my friend at primary school.
his name is faqih..he's smart and kinda funny. he likes to laugh. haha~~
my other bff, tia and i, wo went out and met faqih at my friends stall. we had a great conversation..a lot~! old time sake~~i feel sooo good.
and faqih is still faqih. nothing's change. owh~!
except his physical prop's..hoho..he's tough..for real.!
for the first time i saw him in 3 or 4 years i think..he's totally got me out of my eyes.!
he just..sooo grow~~~~~.
huh~~but nothing's wrong with that. it's not bad either...
and we'll go out tomorrow..to see our old school. i do nothing at home.
i mean, for now laaa..told ya im looking for job. so i wanna sleep early today.
than..i guess i should stop now. hehe~~
ok, nite!!
xoxo

sorrY..So sOrrY..

heh..i read something..
n i feel like she wrote bout me..
u know,im not a goody_nicy_person.
im a moody person i always did something stupid..
i hurt lots of people around me..
sometimes i could be so selfish that i didnt even think about what d others think..
it's yux!!i know im such a bengong person.
i hurt them so deep inside, and it makes me feel horrible when i realized it. i didnt mean it..so sorryyyy..my buddies..
maybe im an idiot person, n u want to kick my ass..i don't mind..
juz..plez..forgive me...
im so so so so so so so so so sorry~~~~~~~~~
no matter what faces i made when i was moody, i didnt mean it..
it's juz my ugly behavior..sory yerk...
huhu
peace out.

nO.aIR.

my sem break is full.~ it's pack..
i need to do a lot of things.
im looking 4 a job.
im wondering bout my results.
im busy planning my plan for the next sem.
im thinking bout my personal life.
im stuck into so many emotions and it's hard 4 me to breathe.
there's no air~~no air~~hu3..
i think i did a wrong decision..but sometimes it seems right..
i do think i met my right, then it slipped away n it's gone.
i don't have faith in me..i guess~~
oh GOD~ it's much tougher than what i think,,
never know it will be this hard.
i think im not ready yet.
plez give me time.
plez.
thanx.
xoxo

more pix..i said it's a lot!!

more pix baby~=]

pixsss!!

nEvA fOrGeT tHiS!!~

hey~~
tell u what..my vacation was damn good!it's so..,relaxing.
i totally forgot bout all my probs..it was fabulous...
with the beach, wave, sunset..environment. GOD!
i really want to go to 'cotton island' one more time..
we used to sleep at the beach at night rather than in the camp.
me n pipa did our stupid dance at the last night, with izam n zarin be our audience.
they're such a monkey,~~! we played such a stupid games, we've been fooled by them,
but im glad i did sumtin fun.
snokelling, men gtar, swimming, men kejar2, men gtar, tgk penyu, tdo, men buai, tdo, cter2 hantu, men gtar lg, ketawa2, x tdo da., masak2, lagi men gtar, men pasir, amek gamba yg sgt byk smpai stuck hp pipa, men gtar smpe muntah..hoh3..
bapak best nye..it feels like vacation with my own family. all the 'boy band' boyz..are super good~ khai, mubin n izam as my sifu( ajar ak men gtar), nasa, mirul, ariri, fatah,zarin, pegawai ktorang yg agak bengong, abg ari, en khairul( yg asyik gelakkan ak coz lembab tkr cort...cm siutttt je ak rse..) , zunu., and the girlz..
my besties..pipa, cikin, ajie, pastu ad ila (mak cik latah yg besss_!) tika, nad, ana, aliya, kak yang, .. em..tu je kot.. yg pntg sme mmg marvellous owh yeah!!~
3 days n 2 nitez_ the best day of my life.. hu3..best2x.
there was one kin-good-man, pak cik pe aziz..blanje ktorg minum air mahal...
thanx pak cik aziz!! u're rox!~
n i met one france guy, he's about going to 40 yet still macho. we had a great conversation together when all my friends are snokelling n swimming like hell n i was alone..
hu3..it was me who wants to be alone..he's nice..n we talked bout so many things.. family, his daughter, experience..his name is cristian(i think i spell his name right..yeke??) n than pak cik aziz dtg..dorg plak berbual..ak tgk jewk~~
what a great experience..ever!~
next posting is the pixs~
take it easy people..it's a lot.!
xoxo ijaxija xoxo

can't let go~~!!

hey bloggie readers.. i have my last paper this sunday,but dgn rileknye..ak still on9 n make time for this. have u ever been in the situation where u couldn't let go of something. or someone..? awwww..it's pathetic.!i feel such a loser... u have something.it's yours. but u didnt know how to appreciate it. and now.it's gone. senang cter, kes ak laa.. ak xreti nak hargai ape yg ak ade. bapak bengongnye! da jadi, mule r nyesal+sakit at+nk menjerit+memekak+blasah owg+cari gado+ daring paneh+nangis..(bende yg pling ak benci skali!!)
tp..sometimes what happened is not my fault. it just..happen~!
i didnt want that to be d end. i didnt asked for that. but i know i must accept it. but why..i can't just let it go??
perasaan sayang ni mmmg plik r ak rase. u hate him. than u like him. then u love him. than u want him.
u make sacrifices..juz for him.
u take the pain..bcoz of him.
u smile..bcoz of him.
u cry..bcoz of him.
u sleep..but still dreaming bout him.
and u keep living, bcoz of him.
but he doesnt like u!! yg pandir sgt sanggup b'susah2 sbb dier apahal??!
sengal btol~~
that is what i said when my friends got thru that situation.
but when it comes to myself..huhu
what goes around comes around lerrr....
no matter how hard it is to make him happy. u'll do it.
he keeps hurting u..and it's really bad.worst.so paintful.bleeding.inside..
but u stand still, juz for him..
awww..how touching~~u know he wont look at u. even once, but u keep waiting.hoping. and love him without tiring.
so i guess..the power of love is very strong ek?
please don't let me get thru this..i mean..yg sgt sakit camtu..
but i think each person will face it. sure confirm pnye..
fair n square.
hoping my instinct will let me know if he's not da one~so i dont waste my time~
xoxo ijaxija xoxo

yeay me!!~~

finally!
i got that damn+sweet+beautiful clothes. and im sooooooooo happy~~
tho now im out of money, but im happy coz i got what i want. it doesnt matter how hard is it, how many sacrifices that u need to make, it's worth it~~
keyword dier kt cni..is don't give up.
yeah, it's easy to say but so hard to do. but i do think if we really want something in our life, we can get it as much as we want it. of coz la it needs an effort, kalo nak harap tibe2 dpt..ai~~susahla idup!
kadang2, makin kite nak..makin ssh nak dapat..
makin kite usaha, makin jauh dier lari..
but that's how ALLAH want to test us. ALLAH gives us faith, so we can go on.
ALLAH gives us courage, so we'll be brave.
ALLAH gives us d prosperity, so we know how to be thankful.
and ALLAH never leave us. is that we who are always forget. ngan enjoy smpai xigt dunia. (aku l tuuuu......) whenever i have problems..automatically, at that time. i'll think about ALLAH. and i pray n i hope n deep inside, i know ALLAH will help me. but when i was enjoying my life like crazy, i'll forget about that. and i wondering, why ALLAH keeps giving me what i want tho i dont know how to be thankful??~ and d answer is..sbb ALLAH sayang kat ak .it's that simple. same with us.
so..i hope, i'll learn how to be a better person in d future. bcoz, this is not just our station. so..be prepared.
~~im remembering myself~~
and,it's not easy to achieve what we want in our life, but if we keep trying, impossible is nothing. certain people like to say that, it's ur fate, it's ur destiny. yeah, maybe.. but u can change ur destiny..it's true, make an effort, pray, and u'll doing fine.
trust me baby~~
xoxo ijaxija xoxo

aDdIcTeD!!<3

for a last few days, i just keep thinking about clothes. god! im addict into that thing. i went shopping with my buddies and i saw the-most-beautiful-gorgeous-like-heaven-clothes, but i didn't buy it. and now..i thinking about it all the time. i want it sooooooooo bad. so, i will definitely go there again and make it mine.! i swear! i will meet my old friends,my tachers, ad i want this reunion to be a blatz!
coz after this,most of my classmates will fly and we won't see each other at least in 3 years. huh~i can't wait that long.. hoping this becoming meeting is worth for me. i mean, they didn't see me in 1 year and a half..of coz la ak nak jd different, unlike iza yg dulu.. biar dorg nampak+tau sket, yg ak ni da matured, da dewase.. ho3..bru terbukak bijik mate dorg..wawawawaaaaaaaaaaaa..~
owh yeah!i dreamed bout something sweetttttt...last night. ha3..i met jonas brothers in my dreamed. such a loser!~~ and i fall in love with joe jonas. come on~~ like hoi~! name who doesn't luv jonas brothers??~~i think joe is the best, he got style, face, smart, funny~~wheEEEe~~, and he's totally blew me away..ho3....
i mean, dlm mimpi aku la..
such a stupid dream. i like him like crazy tp die bley plak buat dek je..but than, when i asked him to hold my hands,..dier pegang plak..and he accompany me to d audition. and i remembered what song that i sang..it's NO AIR!!~~ wa3..pelik btol mimpi nie..
but it keeps me smiling all day long..and i still smiling now..i just can't stop ok../? joe steal my heart away..~~=]
and nick!yeah, that miley cyrus's guy..don't know la dorg still lgik ke x..
but he's kinda cool and cute..and adoreable..he's the most silent one. but he's really matured, xmcm budak 15 taun pun..em..but joe still the best<3
and kevin! emmm..he's not bad..he's d older., he's ok la..ensem la jugak..em..he's got a good body. yela kot.hehe. he looks protective, and he's under control.. unlike joe.. but joe still the best..ha3..
whatever it is..jonas brother's rox!!
and joe rox my world! absolutely~~
xoxo ijaxija xoxo joe=]

mY bAd.

i think i crossed the line now. and i think i did it again.
it's not that i don't want a commitment but sometimes i want time for myself. privacy. im not that type of gurl who are always busy making up with someone special. i got life to do.~~ it's not that im boring or what, but..just let me breath you know. but whatever it is, i didn't blame anybody, coz i know they need time to know me, and i need time to know them. i should juz be honest kan? still, i don't want anybody to get hurt. so, just follow wih the flow la kot..
it's hard to keep saying something sweet but i feel nothing in d inside. time will cure everything, don't u think? yeah, right...~~
now i know that..i should just wait, and it comes to u in no time. it just u didn't realize it.
u can't understand if u're not listening.
it's not just by ur ears, but by ur eyes, and by ur heart.
than, everything will come out and u can clearly see it.
nice, attractive, generous, funny, gentle..
myb it's still not enough.. hoping to know what i feel..~~
i really want to know..b4 it's too late...~~
and i know.
it's
my bad.
xoxo ijaxija xoxo

xoxo

x -for a kiss
o -for a hug
kiss makes u feel loveable.
hug makes u feel calm.
kiss stops u from crying.
hug makes u wanna cry.
kiss makes you wondering.
hug makes u fall in love.
kiss makes u can't sleep.
hug makes u cheer all day long.
kiss makes u cheer all ur life.
hug makes u feel safe.
kiss makes u feel shy.
hug makes u say wowww..
kiss makes u say awww..
hugs makes u strong.
kiss makes u weak.
hug gains trust.
kiss gain love.
kiss need$ hug.
hug need$ kiss.
and i need both.
xoxo myself xoxo
xoxo u!

mesSY nyerrrr~~

my holiday schedule is crazy! i still have 1 more paper left, physics.. yeah.~~d tough one. ~sigh~~ it's on sunday, 11th of may. than i will go on PERSADA vacation at pulau kapas,terengganu. can't wait!!i know it's gonna be fun. we will take a lot of pix..A LOT!!hu3.bestnye..i luv beach. i always dream to have a vacation at the beach with my 'ehem ehem'. but, i still have my feets on the ground,n i know that it's totally not now.
maybe someday.. too much dreaming~~ xbgus3!
than,we'll get back on 15/5..in i do think that i should take a bus from there straight away to JB, my kampung. bcoz..i have my class reunion on 17 n 18 at mersing. PICNIC..at the BEACH!! AGAIN! hoho..my luck baby..don't blame me. i juz miss my classmates soooo damn much. my teachers..my friends..my school.. owh yeah, i'll go to my school first,to get my certificate, than we'll go on picnic..~!!
n im going back on 18 la kot. balik umah..of coz la time to be maid. for sure punye.
my holiday is not too long so there's no need for me to look 4 a job. yeah, at first, i do plan to look for one..tp kalo da mcm nie..bek aku dok umah goyang kaki..
than, nk g shopping lgik, nk g tengok kawan2 ak lgik, sng2 dorg je order2 aku soh g melawat dorg..dorg igt ak ni xde keje len agaknye. tokens in my mouth!!
but it's ok..it's gonna cost them..for sure..wa3~~!!
it's funny when we realize that everything's different from the way we see them.
just like..emm...i have a friend. i called him YAMA. im not so close with YAMA actually,but we're close now. n i'll definitely glad to know that he's actually a nice human being. ho3..it's cruel. i know!.but u never know how bitch he was at the school. such a horrible-no-brain-should-go-to hell- person! he was always teasing me n making jokes on me. argghh!!
rase cm nk sepak je muke dier kuat2! saba gler aku time tue!! but one thing about him, he's genius. like hell. yeah!~ he's younger 1 year than me but he's absolutely damn smart. buat malu ak jek! tp kalo perangai mcm mintak kene jek ngan ak, wtpe!!
hu3..sowi3, this is what we called, emosional. act, dier ok jek, but sometimes i should just punch him so he knows that it's not funny making fun of me. tp kadang2, baek gak.. tgk time dier la. ehm.org dier..he's handsome..bley la..ade gak la rupe..
he's stylo..(is it??).he's smart(yeah yeah).. he's beruban.. wa3! he will kill me if he read this.. huh..like i care~~!!!?!! we're not that close but now i know.. he's my friend. we still keep in touch n i promised him to send him at KLIA next year. he flies to france. ho3..bubye yama..jgn lupe sourvenir ak..aku nk baju. yg cntik2 punye.. he3..
so, i think we shoud juzt forget about d past n start something new. it's not just yama.byk lagi..zap, tam, nabil, fish, eifie,..
but this one..
is dedicated to
mohd zaki omar (btol ke name ayah ko omar?ak lupe laa)
u're a good friend..slalu support ak..
thanx!! touching ni!! hope cpt2 la ko fly.belikan ak baju ye..
to...mohd zaki omar!
idup yama!!
hoho..ok..ckup2 la puji ko..igt free ke..byr 5 rgit!
kidding!!~~luv to have u as my friend.=]
xoxo ijaxija xoxo

mE luV<3~

most importat things in the earth to me~

my priorities~
family+besties(biha,bill,tia,cikin,pipa,ajie)+friends+teachers+school+ batchmates+
sweet niblets!
ice cream+chocolate+ clothes+ handphone+suite life of zack n cody+supernatural+hannah montana+CSI+ las vegas+ ANTM+bring it on~+step up+full house+ my girl+sophia bush+chad michael murray+jensen ackles+ jared padalecki(he's tall!)+hillary duff+ hayden panettierre+ashley tisdale+ music+jonas brothers+britney spears(she's energetic!)+ simple plan+ evanescence+click5+cris brown+ justin timberlake(just his songs~~)+michelle branch+ jojo+stacie orrico+
luv my room+luv my mom's cooking+ luv shopping+luv money+ luv sports+luv dance+ luv tv(it's my life!!)+luv guitar(tho i dont know how to play)+luv on9+ luv shouting like crazy+ luv VIVA car+luv supering(huhu)+luv funfair+ luv my room+ luv my pendrive+ luv my accessories+luv my watch+ luv everything~~cool~sweet~gorgeous~
and the most is...
luv myself~
so.luv me.
xoxo ijaxija xoxo

.hArD.rEaLly.

im not feeling good..and it kills me inside that i didn't know what i want..
u know..sometimes it just so hard to decide and make a good decision bout sumthin'. but u never know if it's d rite thing to do if u never try.. miserable!!!~~ that's the word. OMG..u hope that u know what to do, what is d rite words to say.. aish~
ssh btol..there's a time when i feel so........empty. and u're lucky to have someone beside u. just like my fwen. she has a LB, lovely boyfriend.(kunun2 r..) they are so perfect together..yela..4 years relationship kan..tp kalo gado..~huh! at first i shocked! they fight like kids..and they still fight like kids. screaming and shouting. i can't stand it bcoz it makes my day like $%$%@#@*&*(. u know..yeah, it's none of my bussiness,..but my besties prob,is my problem. i juz can't ignore n pretend like nothing's bad is happen. but as the time flies..ak da imune da..
da biase sgt. i just wondering..that, are they happy together? why can't they just stay calm and solve problems like an adult-with-brain-with-many-patience-neoron??~ sigh~~~ but deep inside i know they are happy, myb its their style. gado smpai histeria memekik2. tp kalo dorg gado kene ngan time tension ak..adoi..rase mcm nk hentak kepale dua2 ekor ngan tayar basikal.! benci ak!.seyes!
so..aziq+cikin..please~~!
hu3..jgn mentalkn ak..
cikin luvs his mr rite soooodamnnnmuch. so..i think aziq is lucky to have cikin by his side.
so..when i think back of these time..there's lot of things that i know is mine.. but i just let it pass me by without even think of it. i guess~~ and my future..
will i ever be like cikin someday? or i will never get one..?or i'll find sumone but he's actually is not da one? or i find da rite one but he's never be mine? lots of possibilities..n im tired thinking of that shit. ~oops!!hehe..
im crushing so many times..but fall in love..hu3..dunno how it feels like..
~ijaxija~<3 u~~